♥Theres things Ive seen.. And things Ive known...♥ [entries|friends|calendar] *Surf your heart out* [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[12 Dec 2005|12:29am] so it pretty much seems like everything done. is it? you tell me ♥ .... =( ♥

[06 Dec 2005|10:27pm] so todays like... dec 6th.. im finally 18... wow.. haha time goes by so fast doesnt it... well lets see... heres my journal for today.. i felt like writing here,, ♥ dear journal, well today all i could think about was "you". dont ask me why cause i dont know the answer. maybe its because i love you. N i just sit here actually doing my homework but at the same time just think about you. You in general and how i wish things would just go back to the way things used to be.. Ur like... Changing. N i know u say ur not. but u are in my eyes.. and thats all that should matter. I always tell myself that im going to move on for "real" this time. But every time u want me to come back, i do. Which isnt good. I mean dont get me wrong. I love you to death. Its just that this time its killing me. There isnt anything more in the entire world that i want than to be with you. just not right now. Your not who i feel in love with. and thats ok. i want you to just have a good time with life. i am. so you should. I have a funny feeling that uve already moved on but then again maybe my intution is wrong. who knows... But thats all for now... ♥ tiffany ♥

[30 Aug 2005|09:57am] truth n. pl. truths (trthz, trths) 1 Conformity to fact or actuality. 2 A statement proven to be or accepted as true. 3 Sincerity; integrity. 4 Fidelity to an original or standard. 5 Reality; actuality. 6 often Truth That which is considered to be the supreme reality and to have the ultimate meaning and value of existence. *SOMETHING I WANT... trust n. 1 Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing. 2 Custody; care. 3 Something committed into the care of another; charge *SOMETHING I CANT DO re·la·tion·ship n. 1. The condition or fact of being related; connection or association. 2. Connection by blood or marriage; kinship. 3. A particular type of connection existing between people related to or having dealings with each other: has a close relationship with his siblings. 4. A romantic or sexual involvement. *SOMETHING IM NOT IN ANYMORE girl·friend n. 1. A favored female companion or sweetheart. *A PERSON I AM NOY love 1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. 2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance. *I WISH I COULD SAY I WASNT IN IT... prom·ise 1. A declaration assuring that one will or will not do something; a vow *SOMETHING THAT GETS BROKEN EVERYDAY! sor·row 1.Mental suffering or pain caused by injury, loss, or despair *THATS HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW... ♥

</3 broken hearted [25 Jul 2005|04:40pm] [ mood | crushed ] It's all over. I gave up. There's nothing I can do now.I have tried repeatedly to get him to come back to me. The more I think about it, the more I feel low and stupid. He didn't love me the way I loved him. And never will. I need time to heal now. I knew along time ago he didn't want to be apart of my life, or me apart of his. I should have listened to my instincts. Cause now I am left to scar with a broken heart. I will heal and already have begun. All I need is my best friends and people around me to help me keep busy. I will not show I care, because I am moving on the way he did along time ago. I knew that he cheated on me too. I know for sure now. Sometimes life just doesn't go the way you want it to. And This was our time. It's all over. I gave up. 1 fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck ♥

[09 Jul 2005|04:44pm] i was thinking of talking to him. maybe not though. the other day everything was fine. Not to say things aren't today. but then again they aren't the greatest. Whatever. Keep telling myself... stoppp analyzinggg.... oh dear. ♥ ♥ me ♥

[29 Jun 2005|05:26pm] so i find some things out.. get hurt... whats more to say? Sucks don't it? ♥ The things I've done...No.. The things I DO! ... and I don't even think he wants ...me. He's young... He's hot. Everyone wants him. So whats the point in chasing after him...When I thought I already had him. I don't go telling people... 3 fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck ♥

[14 Jun 2005|04:33pm] [ mood | touched ] [ music | backstreet boys ] dear sweetheart, i know you'll always be apart of my life. We have a bond that I don't think is possible to break sometimes...I love you too much. You know, I think people misuse the word love a bit too often. It's an undescribable word, I must say... But if your in it you know. One way to define love is... Love is a paradox. No matter what. I will never forget your touch, or your smile, or youe laugh that made me so extremely happy. I don't know if I'll ever move on, I don't really know much of the future. But I know that I love you and always will. I'm too scared to give myself anymore than I already have. I am on a strand of string that's left to myself. We found eachother, and I hope one day that you realize that I won't ever be unfaithful to you. I won't ever leave your side, I won't ever forget you. I look at our pictures from the very beginning of our relationships, I remember all our talks, and we've grown so much closer to eachother. You mean so much to me. (the world at that) And I'm not sure if I should let you go, or hold on. Because all i ever wanted was for you to be happy. That's all I ever wanted and will ever want. I am the least materialistic girl you will ever meet. I want to let you know I will always be here for you and I don't expect anything in return. Since after everything, this long rollercoaster of a ride... I still want you. In my heart is where you are. I know at one point we are going to need to say good-bye, but in the end we will always find eachother again. Always. We are soulmates. I don't think I've ever told anyone that. But I believe it. If there's one thing I believe...It's that We will be together in the end. I love you baby. ♥ The girl who has given you her heart. ♥

love is so fucking stupid sometimes [27 May 2005|12:15am] [ mood | confused ] [ music | CkY close yet far ] I don't know anymore. I love you. I do know that. I don't think you want to be with me. I don't think your ready for this relationship to grow anymore...Maybe you never were. I am though. Before you I hadn't had a boyfriend in a while...Then I did. It was you. I didn't think much of it at first. Then I got to know you. I'm not sure if its the real you, but I think it is. I hope your the same perosn when you are with your friends. But I can't be too sure about that one because ONE: you don't bring me around your friends TWO: you don't take me anywhere with you. To me that kind of shows right there that I am not first in your life. I am not a priority. But sometimes you make me feel like I am. That I am a princess and you will and would do anything for me. I love that feeling. That makes me stay with you. Your voice and those three words. When you say I love you...You can't even begin to imagine how I felt. It's amazing. I love you. And I wish I knew exactly what you wanted and who you wanted to be with if anyone. I think or thought we deserved eachother...But then again sometimes you make me feel like I am a piece of shit whore. Anyone that knows me knows that I am not. I am one of the easiest people to get along with. I love making people smile. And I hate being angry. I am learning to become less angry if angry at all. If I do it's cause I held it in too much. We all get mad sometimes. Don't deny that. ever. But im only human. I am only a girl standing in front of you asking you to love me, to be truthful with me. I don't think that's too much to ask. I hate being lied to. I really do. But what the eff can I do about that? Nothing right. I don't know if your lying to me. But for the most part I trust you enough... And believe you but have some doubt in the back of my mi nd. It's only noraml...considering you talka bout "fcuking" girls in front of me and talking about taking my sister out and not me cause you don't want me ahnging with your friends. Fine I don't care I honestly don't. I don't WANT to hang out with your friends anyways! I want to hang out with you. And that's how it always has been. It's not the facts about your friends. I think you just don't want me there. Fine tell me. Don't say shit behind my back and make me fall in love with you whenever you feel like being nice to me. I go out of my way for you. If you don't think so I can give you examples: Your 11 page Macbeth paper done in a day. When I do things like that and then you be an ass right after I give it to you, makes me think that you are jsut using me. Ut hurts sooo much. so very much. But what the eff can I do right? All I ask is that.. You tell me. I'm getting sick of playing this game. It's like a deck of cards and the game is getting old. ♥ tiffany 2 fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck ♥

[10 Mar 2005|08:22pm] ok.. Time thats all it takes. Before I give it... know that: ♥ Your the only one who can make my heart stop and beat faster than it should... ♥ Your the only one who can actually hold my hand and i still get that "kindergarden" feeling again. ♥ Your the only one who can still sweep me off my feet. ♥ and Your the only one i can forgive for even cheating on me with a girl that i totally hate. It take alot out of me... and now im taking time back. ♥ Your one and only... i thought ♥

[08 Mar 2005|05:22pm] [ music | lalal ] so yea... i didnt mean the last post. but i do indeed need my time. this weekend was fun happy birthday sweetheart. I'll always be yours, truly. ( HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE ) 1 fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck ♥

sometimes it hurts... sometimes its love [16 Feb 2005|07:52pm] Sometimes i think your cheating on me... other times... i think youll actually keep and protect my heart. Which one do I believe? Should I prepare for the worst... Or wait for the best? Signed, Totally Confused 1 fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck ♥

[09 Feb 2005|04:23pm] it hurts... and i hate you for hurting me the way your doing it now. you know i need you and yet you continue to act the way you do.. Sometimes i just want to give up on you. Sooner or later I will... And this time youll be left in the cold. Alone.. not me. I have to stand up for myself once in my life before I give you all of myself. I thought it was worth it. Maybe I was wrong... Or maybe I am wrong about saying this. Well see in the end. ♥ ♥

[29 Jan 2005|10:49pm] ( cant you tell we love eachother? ) 3 fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck ♥

[29 Jan 2005|08:52am] He said I Love You... "melts" ♥

[18 Jan 2005|07:43pm] oh lordy.. im so sick and tired.. of being sick and tired... what do i do? honestly now.. should i give up? you can never tell with him. We had a wonderful day. We always have wonderful days. But then there are just days when...He shoves you aside. and you dont know if you were used or not.. or if they ever like you or not. I can tell that he doesnt like me as much as i like him. Its obvious... But i dont care. Im still giving my heart out now arent I? I trust him. I believe in him. Hopefully im not going to make a fool out of myself and break my heart.... SO... the relationship? or game? begins again... ♥ what to do? what to do? 4 fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck ♥

[07 Jan 2005|11:28pm] im tired of being lied to.. and looked down apon.. that it.. ive had it. I will not.. WILL NOT take your shit anymore.. friends? thats what you wanna be .. well in order to be my friend.. earn my goddaym respect! ♥ 3 fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck ♥

what a shitty new years [01 Jan 2005|07:13am] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | i have a god damn headache. ] i must say this was the worsttt new years in the history of time.. i dont even fucking remember what happened... i heard that i was screaming at my boyfriend.. who now is apparently notttt my boyfriend... so Im single .. again.. and im never going to have another boyfriend again.. thats it.. im done.. this is seriously the first time i ever drank like that.. and look what it gets me into... when i woke up.. i frkn had cuts and dirt like all over me... not cool.. SOOOO new years resolutions... 1. NO DRINKING 2. NO BOYFRIENDS.. and thats all on my list for now.. if i were to have a bf i want eddie back.. im such a shitty person.. and it im sorry for the things i end up doing and the bad decisions i make... but i cant do anything now.. its over. 2 fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck ♥

[25 Dec 2004|06:38pm] merry christmas!!!!!!!! and all that good stuff!!! i have a boy and hes all mine and thats all i need for christmas!!!!!!!!! hes the sweetest most wonerfulest greatest person ever times 4873475!!!! yay.. lol kk good night... hehe ♥ 1 fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck ♥

[23 Dec 2004|11:40am] blady... back to work... went to mountain high... n snowboarded.. wicked sweet. ♥ ♥

[18 Dec 2004|11:36pm] ok soo.... I had a photo shoot today for my modeling... it was the most... AWESOME THING EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥ 2 fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck ♥

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]